International Women’s Day often prompts big conversations about leadership, equality and opportunity.
Yet in our recent Leadership Trust webinar with executive coach Joanna Davies, the focus fell on something more unexpected and subtle: the words we use every day.
Because sometimes the smallest shifts can have the greatest impact.
More than 500 people registered for the session, which is available as a webinar, a clear signal that the topic of communication, confidence and leadership presence resonates widely across organisations and sectors.
Leadership presence often begins with language
As Joanna reminded participants early in the conversation:
“How we talk about what we do and where we can add value can either lift us or hold us back.”
The discussion explored the linguistic habits many of us fall into at work: words like just, maybe, I think, or sorry to interrupt. These phrases often slip into conversations almost unnoticed. They can soften ideas, create rapport and make collaboration easier.
Yet they can also subtly dilute the authority of what we’re saying.
The subtle words that quietly weaken our message
Joanna explained that these patterns have been widely studied in sociolinguistics and workplace communication. Words that hedge or minimise statements can introduce uncertainty into a message, even when the underlying idea is strong.
“Words like maybe or I think… can reduce the strength of the points you’re trying to get across.”
Importantly, this isn’t about capability or confidence. In many cases, these patterns reflect the relational leadership behaviours that organisations increasingly value: collaboration, inclusion and awareness of others.
The challenge lies in balance.
When collaboration softens authority
During breakout discussions, participants reflected openly on their own communication habits. Several recognised themselves immediately in the examples Joanna shared.
One delegate admitted that after presenting ideas, they often end by asking, “Does that make sense?” even when they know their message has been clear.
Others highlighted how communication styles shift depending on workplace culture. One participant noted that different leadership styles can influence how direct people feel able to be in meetings, explaining that they often adapt their language to the expectations of those around them.
The tension between authenticity and perception
The conversation also surfaced a wider question: how much adaptation should individuals have to make?
One participant challenged the idea that women should always be the ones adjusting their communication style:
“How many masks do we have to wear? Maybe we also need greater awareness across organisations so everyone understands how language and bias interact.”
It was a reminder that communication is always shaped by context: culture, leadership expectations, organisational norms and personal experience.
Intentional language creates leadership clarity
The goal, therefore, is not to eliminate relational language or warmth from leadership communication. Those qualities are essential for building trust and effective teams.
Instead, the invitation is to become more intentional about the words we choose.
As Joanna emphasised:
“This is not about changing who you are… it’s about using your language more intentionally.”
Often, the shift required is small.
A tentative suggestion becomes a clear recommendation.
An apology becomes appreciation.
A question becomes a statement of intent.
Small language shifts can change how ideas land
For example:
- Maybe we could try a different approach becomes “I recommend we try a different approach.”
- Sorry for the delay becomes “Thank you for your patience.”
- I think we should prioritise this becomes “We should prioritise this.”
These subtle changes don’t remove empathy or collaboration. Instead, they strengthen clarity while retaining relational awareness.
Confidence isn’t missing – it’s sometimes softened
One participant shared an observation that resonated strongly with the group. At home, they noted, most of us rarely apologise before making a request or giving direction. We don’t do it with our families.
Yet at work, many of us do it constantly.
Why?
Perhaps because leadership still carries expectations, sometimes conflicting ones, about how authority should sound.
The real opportunity lies in recognising those patterns and choosing consciously how we communicate.
Because once we notice the words we rely on, we gain something powerful: choice.
The choice to soften a message when collaboration is needed.
Or the choice to strengthen it when clarity and authority matter most.
The next step in your leadership journey
Sometimes leadership development begins not with grand strategies or dramatic changes, but with something much simpler.
A moment of awareness.
A small shift in language.
And the confidence to say it like we mean it.
If these reflections resonate with you, it may be worth exploring the next step in your own leadership journey.
At Leadership Trust, programmes such as Leadership in Management are designed to help leaders strengthen their communication, presence and impact in real workplace contexts.
Find out more about how Leadership Trust programmes could support you and your leadership journey.
